hello girls.
maybe i ve treat this as my personal blog alr . since i currently dont have one.
anyway, there s some thoughts here. i thought i ll feel better if i talk to the blog.

hmm, basically having some problems with my sis. she complained to father that i gave her attitude. yes, i did.(basically i just dint smile to her) just felt that as time goes by, everyone has their own life. look, i ve got a choice to want to stay close to her, perhaps to maintain our sister ship. however, i feel that its not worthwhile after all these attempts. is really suppose to be a two way thing.i dont know, i felt that she dint make much effort.(though she did a little, she bought a perfume like thinggy for me conveniently, since she wants it for herself) yes, she dont have to buy it for me, and yes, i appreciate her. but still, she demonstrated her self centred nature. she bought sth that look less pretty for me.(i like hers too!) hahaa but yes, i appreciate her.its wrong not to demonstrate it.i find myself difficult to love her, nowadays.i feel bitter that i am behaving like that towards her,but i cant love her , and give in to her anymore. she s really leading her life.and i am really feeling the gap.

To low: i wish ur sis dont feel this way towards you. " dont you know that i am trying"? love her more.=)siblings.
yam: love ur brother more okie!

my father just talk to me. its the second time we talk abt this matter. and today, i told him that i wasnt happy with sis.but unwilling to talk things out. i told him, talking things out might be useless. i ve learnt to keep some things. i dont know if it s good or bad. but i ve got no rights to try to change her lifestyle. i cant bring myself to tell her "u ve been spending too much time with Colin" u ve neglected the family. i cant, cause eventually,we will lead our own lives.. its a matter of who says bye first.bye to the quality time we had.

so issit time to smile,and let go?

also, my father commented that i am very realistic.(xian shi) now, i am reflecting. i admitted. my first instinct is naturally, NO! but i admitted that i was in the past. he says that i sounded sweet when i want him to fetch me. hahah which is true. you cant probably be demanding when u re requesting right? haha but i told him, i did set apart some time to accompany him alr.AND YES i DID i really did. the insignificant yet tough effort is just not obvious. then i felt that this little things i ve done is not appreciated. i think my sis dont even know that i ve tried.

right now, i am reflecting again. wad have i done wrong, wad have i not appreciate,wad have they give that i took it for granted.out of this busy life, can someone understand that even 1 hour is mad for me. cause i am so slow. my goodness.my hour is your 3 hours.life is a little too demanding, results, quality time. its really striking a balance, my friends.

jane.